How to use the entire contents of your diaper bag in one sitting

OK, top this:

Josh and I were out and about today, when it came time for Ben to eat. We have a little system for our days out; when Ben gets hungry, we go to the gym. Josh goes in and works out, and I sit in the car and feed Ben while we wait. Then we can either come home, or continue shopping, as feeding Ben while we are out "buys" us another three hours or so. 

Today as I was feeding Ben I smiled as I congratulated myself for packing so well. I have learned to feed Ben with a bib on, so that when (not if, but when) he spits up, it doesn't cover the front of him. I also recently bought some oversized burp cloths which make life a little easier too. I had just removed the milk-covered bib and put him up on my shoulder to burp him some more... and he saturated the burp cloth with another huge round of spit up. He doesn't usually spit up so much, and I was happy that I was well-prepared. I then changed his diaper on my lap, a task I have only recently mastered, and congratulated myself again for being soooo skilled in the mommy department. I did note, however, that it was just a pee diaper, and those are pretty easy. All the same, I put the balled-up diaper and wipe into a handy ziplock bag to be taken care of later... again thinking it was so neat that all of this could be done so tidily in the back seat of my car.

Heh.

So Ben decided to poop. OK, that's cool... I haven't changed a poopy diaper in my lap yet, but I might have given it a try. Or I might have just let it wait till we got home, or to a diaper changing station, or whatever. But as it turned out, I had no choice. Ben pooped with such force that it shot up his back and his front, and immediately soaked through both layers of his clothes. I sort of laughed as I said, "Oh, crap. Literally." out loud. I thought, ah, what the heck. I'll give it a try. I put a receiving blanket on my lap and undressed the little guy, in the process spreading the poo from his back side to his neck and hair and ear. I pulled him toward me as I was wiping the excess from his back, and he somehow wiped you-know-what on to my shirt. I have no idea how it got into his hands and his belly button, but well, it did. I opened his diaper just in time to receive a tiny fountain of little boy pee. At this point, I called my brother in order to share the moment with someone, and for the record, he suggested I take pictures with my camera phone. Although it would have made for excellent documentation, I opted out of that idea. As Josh was coming out of the gym, I was wiping and wiping and wiping the abundance of excrement. Finally I pulled the extra onesie and sleeper from the diaper bag and re-dressed him. I balled up the dirty clothes (which Josh says I should just throw out, but which I am keeping as a veritable medal of honor) in the receiving blanket, tucked Ben back into his car seat, and we were on our way. 

I now believe that I am capable of handling most anything.

And you know, it has occurred to me since arriving home (with a relatively clean kiddo, I might add) that I could have just draped a receiving blanket across his car seat, and brought him home all poopy to handle the mess here... in the bathtub... but then I wouldn't have anything to blog about, now would I?