Always, never, forever

Dear Ben,

Sweet little boy. You are 3 years and just about 12 hours old. I know, that's a statistic only a mom would know... but the truth of the matter is, I have nearly every detail of your birth day imprinted in my mind, way back in the "I will never forget" recesses. There is just nothing like having a baby. And I can only imagine that other moms will agree: having your first baby is earth-shattering, life-changing stuff. You, my son, made me a mom.

I will always remember the first time I heard you cry.

I will always remember the first time I nursed you, and it actually *worked.*

I will always remember your first wonderful, magical, exciting, good-news, poopy diaper.

I will always remember bringing you home.

I will always remember the peace that came with building a routine, and falling into a rhythm.

I will always remember the joy of bringing you around with us.

I will always remember how proud of you I was: your growth, your cuteness, your go-with-the-flow personality... all of it.

I will never forget the first time you kissed me. I wish I could relive it, because it was one of the sweetest moments of my life.

I will never forget the first time you said that you loved me.

I will never forget your reaction to your baby brother.

I will never forget how the first several times you heard him cry, you would burst into tears yourself... inconsolable until we'd "fixed" Matt, first.

I will never forget how you love to hold him on your lap, how you would beg to be the one to feed him, and how you were so interested in all of his comings and goings. I will always remember how you would (and still do) run to get him a toy when he is fussy.

I will forever love your tender little heart and your big blue eyes.

I think you are the smartest 3 year old around. :)

I find you so easy to love, my big boy, my first baby, my son. There is nothing I wouldn't do for you. I'm so glad God gave you to me and your dad. We are here for you forever.